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Look at that there fancy magazine talking about that there them new fangled toy T.V. devices. Yuppers, the fancyTimemagazine does a cute little stories on thatHalosgame that has the aliens dealing with Floods and the pew pew pewing. ThemTimesreally knows lots about theHalos. Why take a look here at this quote: The Bungies bring a grinding, jeweler’s meticulousness to what most people consider an unhealthy amusement for children. Why I reckon this boy knows lots about gaming and … OK, that’s enough....

We already knew it was coming, thanks toa CMT early announcement, buttoday Harmonix has confirmednext week’s release of Roy Orbison tracks forRock Band. Six Orbison classics will be made available: “Claudette,” “In Dreams,” “Mean Woman Blues,” “Oh, Pretty Woman,” “Ooby Dooby,” and “You Got It.” The six tracks can be grabbed as a pack for $9.99 (800 MS Points), or each song can be picked up individually for $1.99 (160 MS Points a piece)....

Koei Tecmo’s Omega Force is making a JRPG. You can easily tell it’s a JRPG because it’s calledTrinity: Souls of Zill O’ll. No other type of game would be called that. Anyway, a fat wad of screenshots and art have arrived and they look rather interesting, kind of likeDynasty Warriorsbut with more focus on roleplaying elements. The graphical style is also quite interesting in that they have a strange watercolor look to them....

We already know thatGran Turismo 5 Prologuelooks real purdy. Now Sony sends along details on how next month’s release will sound. A press release tells us that soundtrack is headlined by an in-game exclusive remix of Weezer’s “Automatic,” from the band’s upcoming album and an EL-P remix of Mars Volta’s “Goliath.” Expect indie dance rock, electronica, classic rock and remixes, with musical acts like Weezer, Mars Volta, Justice, The Klaxons, Friendly Fires and DJ Shadow in the line up of a dozen exclusive singles....

Two men are held on a $50,000 cash bail in Rochester afterinvading a family home, beating a man with a baseball bat, threatening him with a sword in front of his kids and then making off with their impressive haul … one videogame drum kit. Thomas Joy, 17 and Michael Bullis, 18 are alleged to have committed the act last week, with both men facing charges of burglary. Only Joy has so far racked up a more serious list of felonies, having allegedly struck the male occupent of the apartment in the face with a baseball bat, then kicking him repeatedly in the face and torso, “manifesting extreme indifference to the value of human life....

Say what you will about Far Cry 2 (here’s what we said), but you can’t argue that the game’s map editor isn’t superb. Because it is, and Ubisoft knows it. Of course, anyone can use it, but they don’t want you making a bunch of garbage maps. That’s why they’re releasingDesigning Wargames: The Official Far Cry 2 Map Editing Guide. The book is being written by David Hutchison, the author of Playing to Learn: Video Games in the Classroom, and is being released in early 2009....

Were you expecting anything else?Call of Duty: Black Opssits comfortable atop the UK Charts yet again, followed by its eternal shadow-sweeper,FIFA 2011. With those two stalwarts in their respective places, third place is all that’s left to fight for, and there are no prizes for guessing thatWorld of Warcraft: Cataclysmnabbed it. There is literally nothing else of note happening in this week’s chart. December sucks.

The cries of “what the f**k?” after hearing thatKim Kardashian would appearin Electronic Arts’FaceBreakercan still be heard echoing in the halls of Casa Destructoid. But this … this is … we’re speechless. EA has announced that they’ll be releasing a casual Wii sports title calledCelebrity Sports Showdownthat will pit celebrities like Avril Lavigne and Keith Urban against one another in 12 different outdoor sports. The age-old question will finally be answered: which celebrity’s curling champion claims are legit — Fergie or LeAnn Rimes?...

Warriors: Legends of Troysupposedly launched on March 8, but you wouldn’t have been able to tell. Pre-orders were not fulfilled, reviews haven’t been published, and I’ve not seen a physical copyanywhere. Apparently it is out there, but not even the retailers know what’s up. Some North American stores believe the game is out on March 15, while Amazonwasable to send copies to its customers yesterday. Even stranger, the Xbox 360 version has beenquietly canceled, with no formal announcement or stated reason....

[Weekend Destructainment is a collection of funny videos brought together from all across the Internet to bring you entertainment on these slow and boring weekends.] The above video is called “We are Bomber-MEEEEEN!!” and is by Takahashi Meijin. It makes no sense at all. Spotted onGoNintendo. After the break it’s aTeam Fortress 2andPokemonmash-up. Then it’s Random Robot Intermission with the robot buggy slave. Next, it’s an old Mega64 skit forA Boy and His Blob....

Make sure you’re comfortable before you start to watch thisHalo Warsdemonstration video — it’s long! Lead designer Graham Devine narrates the 10 minute long video as he shows us how theHaloswill play like. The video starts off with Pelican in flight being escorted by a couple of SkyHawks. The Pelican drops off a few Marines and thats when you take control of your forces.Graham shows off the mechanics of the base, the natural human feel to the characters and how the Xbox 360 controller will be able to handle the RTS control of the game....

Blood Bowlis a game we’re fairly excited for at Destructoid, so much so that we sought out developer Cyanide for an exclusive interview. We learned a great many things, including how the customization works and the differences between real-time and turn-based modes. One thing we wanted to learn, however, is why the game is launching for PC, Xbox 360, DS and evenPSP, but not the PlayStation 3. “Cyanide is a small company,” the developer explains....

Look, I think we all get it. There is a good chance that gamers, more than the general population, is made up of fatties. And you know what? C’est la vie! I say if anyone wants to lose some weight or become healthier, there are some mature, grown-up ways of going about this. For example, I am eating a chicken and broccoli Lean Pocket right now. It is cheesy and delicious....