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Such a great week for fans of Kairosoft’s simulation-games-that-are-actually-crack. Android owners can point and laugh as their iOS brethren, as they can rub the recently releasedPocket League Story(Android,$5.17) all over their faces. It’s a Kairosoft simulation game about soccer. Not that you’ll care what it’s about when you download it, knowing full well the amount of hours you’re going to lose to it. iOS owners can at least grabGrand Prix Story(iPhone,$2....

Grasshopper Manufacture (No More Heroes,Killer7) is not stranger to weirdness, so its hardly shocking that the studio’s first Kinect title, tentatively calledCodename D, is bizarre. The trailer showed a guy hitting a baseball to make tiger-headed people explode, and if a new trademark is to be believed, the game’s getting a rather fitting name. Grasshopper recently filed for rights to the nameDiabolical Pitch, which would certainly fit the theme of exploding tiger baseball....

Can’t get enoughDead Space 2? Well you’re in luck, as a new single-player experience is being released next week! The downloadable content, called “Severed,” contains two new chapters and follows Gabriel Weller and Lexine Murdoch during the Necromorph outbreak on The Sprawl. If the names sound familiar, it’s because these two were both inDead Space: Extractionfor the PlayStation 3 and Wii. While the core mechanics are the same, you’re going to find that the gameplay is much more action-oriented in “Severed....

Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensionsfor the DS was, quite frankly, a surprise. While the console versions ofShattered Dimensionsare a great opportunity to see all the variations of the webbed wonder, they were, at the end of the day, a Spider-Man brawler. And that may not be a bad thing, if you’ve seen mypreview. However, the DS version of the game was an entirely different experience. Basically, this is Spider-Man done Metroidvania style. The plot is, of course, the same as the console versions....

If you have yet to hear, read or see anything onThe Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottomyou should remedy that fact right now. You can do this by (a) watching the trailer above, (b) reading about oureyes-on timewith it or (c) enjoying theirHalloween card,holiday cardand Valentine’s Day card, the latter of which is below. Now that you have done all this, you’ll be happy to hear that the game is launching Feb. 17 via Xbox LIVE....

It’s time once again for me to drool overBorderlands, and I urge you to join me if you are so inclined, by looking at thehot screenshotsthat Gearbox has released to the general public. This dystopian RPG full of customizable guns and Skag Beasts is looking sexier with each new image, the new art style having really paid off to create a game that is both brownandbeautiful. Hopefully Gearbox will release some video soon to go along with all the lovely screens, as I’m itching to see the game in action....

Heavy Raindesperately wants to be a movie. That’s pretty much the attitude I get with each and every new bit of news I hear about Quantic Dream’s spiritual successor toIndigo Prophecy. The latest attempt to be as far removed from videogames as possible is the news thatHeavy Rainwill essentially ignore Trophy notifications so as to keep the mood unspoiled. Yeah. Quantic Dream’s Guilaume de Fondaumiere tellsKotakuthat Trophies notices will operate on a delay to eradicate the chiming noise one would hear while trying to perform moody investigations during moody Heavy Rain’s moody sequences that set the mood with all its moodiness....

To promoteMetal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, series daddy Hideo Kojima is doing a sort of “world tour.” I’d type out a list of locations for you, but the above picture does a pretty good job of letting you know where he’s going. Starting at the end of this month, he’ll be in Tokyo, his hometown. He’ll hit the big cities in Japan, move to the rest of Asia, and then hit the US....

OK fellas, if you’re new to the public restroom game, then you must check out thisSimsmachinima video on proper bathroom etiquette. You’ll learn about noises, stall placement, and other details that make for the perfect bodily release experience for all.So, grab your notebook and learn a thing or two with this.[ViaKotaku]

This is a video ofParade Magazine‘s A.J. Jacobs playing Natal with his family. It shows a game we haven’t seen before in which you are rafting down a river, attempting to avoid rocks while flailing around like a madman in real life. It also makes me not want to play Natal. After his play session — which also included the oft-shown dodgeball game and another newish one that’s essentially an obstacle course — Jacobs admitted, “you have to be okay with looking like a drunken maniac about to be arrested onCops....

I’ve been able to runThe Witcher 2: Assassins of Kingspretty well on my PC (after some graphical tweaks), but some players are having immense trouble. A patch is coming to fix it next week, but if you’re able to’t wait to play something you just spent your hard-earned money on (how impatient!), CD Projekt has some fixes for you. Difficulties with activation code There have been quite a few instances that involved entering the number zero (0); you should use the capital letter “o” (O)....

A pack of screenshots featuring the new game from SEGA featuring Marvel hero Thor has been released. You can see them below and I’d recommend you check them out. I have a cousin who, when she was a small child, was a bit of a spitfire (something that honestly hasn’t changed at all). We used to laugh when she would refer to herself as “‘ittle but mighty,” and that’s exactly what I think of looking at Thor here....

The fifth Blip Festival is finally upon us: the annual-except-for-2010 chiptune music extravaganza begins tonight, May 19, and runs through Saturday, May 21. The festival is a collaboration between8bitpeoplesandThe Tank, and it’s taking place at Eyebeam, which is located in anotoriously un-public-transit-friendly part of Chelsea. (This is the first time since 2007 that the event will be at Eyebeam, which is special for me in particular: Blipfest 2007 was where I first met some Destructoid editors, and got started on the road to becoming one myself!...