Possessing themassive thighs of Chun-Liand thecurvy package of Ryu, I strutted into theGameTrailers TVstudios a couple weeks ago and shot a segment in which I talked aboutthe most anticipated games of 2009. When I reached the set I tossed off my red gi and revealed my bulging Zangief pectorals and triangular-shaped chest hair. “I am here!” I proclaimed as I sat down in front of the camera, grabbed an unsuspecting production assistant, and made sweet love to her in front of everyone.
Okay, in all honesty, none of that happened. I did shoot a fun segment for the show, but that’s where the manly theatrics ended. In fact, I have no idea how much of my stuff the show will even be able to air, since I made multiple jokes about a Mike Tyson final boss inWii Punch-Out!!that rapes you and the size of my giant erection once Miyamoto announces the newZeldagame.
Ugh. What is wrong with me?! My mother raised me so well, I swear!
To see what clean jokes of mine they got tokeep(if any!), check outGameTrailers TVtonight at1:00 a.m. ESTonSpike. I hope I make Destructoid proud!
