The Wii’s Virtual Console is a mysterious, sexy beast. Like that older woman who would always walk in front of her open blinds wearing only a sheer slip and a smile, you don’t quite know if it’s trying to seduce you or if it’s merely there as a supplement to an already enjoyable video game system.

Today, Nintendoannouncedthat it will be releasing new games for the VC every Monday at 9am PST. The first spurt of games will arrive on December 4th and will include such classics asRistar, Donkey Kong Jr., ColumnsandVictory Run.

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The Virtual Console is a big draw for the Wii, and a 4-games-per-week release schedule seems about right. That way, you can enjoy a whole week’s worth of nostalgia and remembering how totallyAWESOME the early 90s werebefore The Big N hits you in the face with another hot, gooey blast from your childhood.

Nintendo, I respect your desire to want to remain chaste and not pump out all the games at once, after all, the other girls at school might call you a harlot, but we’ve been going together for a while now, and, well, would it be so bad if we just this once went all the way? You know what I want. Show me that sweetOcarina of Timebaby.

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