If there’s one company even further up 3D’s arse than Sony, it’s got to be Ubisoft. The company is incredibly gung-ho about making gamers wear the “look at what a prick I am” glasses, and here’s why — it reckons we’ll all be on the 3D bandwagon within three years.

“Ubisoft are a big fan of 3D,” says UK marketing boss Murray Pannel. “We were the first publisher to create a proper 3D game with Avatar last year. Ahead of its time in many ways because the technology was in its infancy and you couldn’t buy 3DTVs at all.

Article image

“The truth is I think it is a technology that’s coming. We can’t ignore it. It’ll start slowly this year. But like HDTV I wouldn’t rule out the fact that this will be installed in everyone’s living room in three year’s time, and for us to be in a position to have content that could really look absolutely amazing in 3D.”

But the problem is, as I’ve said before, HDTVisn’tinstalled in everyone’s living room. In fact, I went to look at houses yesterday, and in those houses do you know what I say? SDTVs! Okay, that’s in the middle of Bumblefuck Mississippi, but nevertheless, there’s a lot of people here, and if they don’t have HDTV yet,howare you going to sell them on 3DTV?

yordles animation still image

This whole 3D thing looks like a bunch of CEOs clamping their lips around a goose’s vagina because somebody told them it lays golden eggs. Maybe it’ll be successful, but this automatic obsession with 3D looks naive and childish and the executives who talk about it sound like three-year-olds with a new toy.

3DTV in every home in 3 years – Ubisoft[Eurogamer]

Destiny 2 Solstice 2025 armor

Hell is Us gameplay reveal

Black Ops 6 Season 5 Multiplayer Ransack Mode

Tekken Tag Tournament 2: a black and white Jin and Heihachi stand back-to-back.

PEAK Bing Bong plushie

Silent Hill f: a woman’s face covered in blossoming but deadly looking flowers.

Mei NERF gun in OW2

Naked Snake sneaking around in MGS Delta.