Lets start with the facts.
Nintendo is a giant, evil corporation that is hellbent on ruining videogames, the world, and everything. The only things standing in their way are a local, “Mom and Pop” software developer called Microsoft, and a plucky, underdog electronics producer named Sony. For a while, Sony had just barely fended Nintendo off with something called thePS2, but lately it’s been Microsoft leading the struggle to keep Nintendo at bay. With the recordbreaking sales ofHalo 3, a game universally accepted asthe most wonderful thing ever made, Microsoft had proven that no matter how many battles Nintendo may champion, the “good guys” were still winning the war.
That’s all over now. Via a combination ofhighly effective viral marketing, andinsultsused to humiliate the consumer into submission, Nintendo has convinced the world to buy a game that it doesn’t want; a game that forces the player to become more aware of their own bodies by making them move their armsandtheir legs. Some people call that “exer-gaming”. I call it blasphemy.
By selling over 6 million units in the United States, Nintendo has official stolen videogames from “us” (13-24 year old males who are too sexy to evenmove) and given in to “them” (women, children, and old people, many of whom are not sexyat all). That’s right everybody, the latest NPD numbers show that as of February 2009,Wii Fithas outsoldHalo 3in the United States. There are now more people in our country using videogames to fake-hula hoop than people using them to fake-murder their friends.
[viaKotaku]
