(Yeah, that headline was kinda childish, but you haveno ideahow hard I giggled after I came up with it. Besides, aren’t the “Final Fantasyis for girls and guys who look like girls” jokes getting kinda stale? Testicle humor to the rescue!)

According tothis articleat Siliconera, tomorrow marks the release of an update forFinal Fantasy XIwhich is slated to include fan-favorite chocobo racing. Squenix revealed its plan to implement the mini game during 2006 and since that time has been surveying players of its game as to what they would like included. While the survey results have not been revealed, one could easily assume that there will be birds, they will race, and maybe (if we’re lucky), you’ll have the option of euthanizing any birds who “mysteriously” fall and break a leg, wing, or delicious, crunchy breast piece.

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Hit the jump for a full rundown on whathasbeen revealed.

– What is Chocobo Racing?The newly added racetracks are the perfect place to test out and show off your very own chocobo’s skills. These automated races will require you to piece together a picture-perfect plan based on variables such as chocobo condition and the weather, using options consisting of orders given to your jockey and items to be utilized on the track. But that’s not all. Performing well in these races will earn you gil or VCS-mint chocobucks, which can be used to purchase items or services that will assist you in breeding.

– How to ParticipateFirst, you must be raising an adult chocobo or have one out to pasture and possess its VCS registration card. Next, you must visit one of the CRA’s (Chocobo Racing Association) branches located in San d’Oria, Bastok, and Windurst, and register your chocobo to race.

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– What are Chocobucks?Chocobucks are a special type of currency for use at CRA-sanctioned establishments. Chocobucks can be earned by winning special races and can be exchanged for items and services used in chocobo breeding. Chocobucks are also required to participate in certain official races.

– Types of RacesThe following are the two types of races available at this time:

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Official RaceBy successfully completing the objectives of these “mission-style” races, more challenging races will be unlocked. Can you clear them all?

Free RunFree runs are “practice” races that may be run at any time (for a small gil fee). By placing in these races, you will receive chocobucks that can be used to purchase items or participate in higher-level official races. Use these practice races to hone your skills and save up funds.

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That’s all well and good, but until they add a submarine-piloting mini-game or stab a beautiful girl through the chest thus causing her to die permanently despite the omnipresent resurrection spells, items and prophecies one finds in these games,FFXIwill continue to play second fiddle to my favorite member of the series:Chocobo’s Mysterious Dungeon!

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