You know what’s easier than writing a post entirely about nothing on a Sunday evening in which I have hours of work ahead of me?Not writing a post entirely about nothing on a Sunday evening in which I have hours of work ahead of me!
To make up for my utter laziness, I bring you a snippet from my unpublished screenplayShark Machine 3: JAWESOME!:
Leonard: Why would you possibly think that giving a shark a computer for a brain would make it more docile? SHARKS ARE KILLING MACHINES! THEY KNOW ONLY BLOOD AND TERROR!
Chun: It wasn’t a computer! It was a nanomachine with the innate tendencies of a hornet — there’s a HUGE difference.
Gina: So we’re being hunted by a shark that thinks it’s a hornet that thinks it’s a computer? I should have stayed in Burbank …
Destructoid’s editors are many things: intelligent, hard-working, slightly more attractive than the stereotype, but if there is one thing they aren’t it’s NOT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES!
Honestly, when the best I can come up with is a double negative, I really should be back in bed. Here’s our games of the week:
Brad Rice:Now that I’m done withPersona 3, it’s high time for me to return to actually playingOblivion. Apart from playing some ofHotel Dusk, I’ve been spending my time reading books (gasp!) or doing pen and paper RPGs — both of which are socially deviant enough to make it into this column.
Jim Sterling:Pretty much the exact same as last week. Mopping up achievements onDynasty Warriors 5(what? I like arbitrary, meaningless scores. Shove it) and being frustrated byCastlevania. For some inane reason I also picked upJetpack Refuelled. In preparation for my not being able to buy new games for a while (trips to America do that), I am yet again sniffing around retro games of yore — which just means playingStreets of Ragefor the millionth time.
Nick Chester:To cool my wildPac-Manjones I’ve had lately, I purchased a copy ofNamco Museumfor the Game Boy Advance just so I could playMs. Pac-Manon a trip I took this week. All told, I probably played something like six hours ofMs. Pac-Man. When I wasn’t playingNamco Museum, I was getting much deeper intoPuzzle Questfor the Nintendo DS, a game that I almost decided to get rid of, until I realized exactly what I was doing. I’m glad I took the time, for sure.
I have no idea why (cough), but I have this sudden urge to replay all of the oldRatchet and Clanktitles, so by the time you read this, I should be doing that. Much to the dismay of my neighbors, I’m playingBoogieon the Wii for review, and the Xbox 360 version ofNASCAR 08.Hamsa “CTZ” Aziz:I got to play someCall of Duty 4: Modern Warfareyesterday. I’ve never been able to get into theCoDgames before because of the era they protrayed. So I finally have a resean to like this franchise now.
Also had some hands-on time with theStrangleholdsingle player (not the XBL demo) as well asArea 51: Blacksite.Strangleholdgot really old, really fast.Area 51was fun, but the demo’s were too short to really get into them.
Dale North:All other games have been set aside for the wackiness that is PS3’sPiyotama. I’m hooked. Every time I think I have a good score, I check the rankings, and there I see how far I have to go.Topher Cantler:I played throughSan-X Chara Sagashi Land, which ended rather abruptly with no real reward other than a bunch of strange pictures to look at. Afterward, I moved on toBionic CommandoandDonkey Kong Jungle Climberfor the DS. I also played about 20 minutes ofAlien Hominidlast night, until my 360 froze, red ringed, told me I was unloved, kicked me in the balls, and took my lunch money. I hate you, Microsoft. I hope you’re listening to the next episode ofRetroforceGO.
Colette Bennett:I’ve been playingWoWand not despising it for the very first time (this is a miracle beyond my actual comprehension) andHexicon 360 because I love mindless puzzling. Also, checked out theEternal Sonatademo and I am more in love with that game than ever. If it has a decent story, I could have faith in the future of RPGs for 360.
Ron Workman:I have been playingAirplane Flying Person Simulator 5000for the life,COD4on the 360,Showing CTZ the baby bird I caught,andShowgirlsfor the Wii.Nex:Realistically, I spent my entire week playing throughPokemon DiamondandDiablo II, if only because I had no other way to amuse myself, but I also want to mention the fact that I picked upThe Red Starand have been smashing my head against it for the last day or two. When people say that it creates almost an entirely new genre by combining the old shump and beat-em-up genres, they aren’t lying. Seriously, it’s a quality title that I fear is going to be hugely overlooked by the general public thanks to its platform, indie style and out-of-the-mainstream gameplay.
Leigh Alexander:Even though I got my Xbox just a couple days ago, I haven’t done anything with it because it needs a wireless adapter and possibly some games. I’ve been messing around withFFXIhere and there, despite the fact it’s beginning to dawn on me that I don’t like MMOs. I’ve been playing ridiculous amounts ofPokemon, which is probably the reason I haven’t beatenPersona 3yet, so I’m also still playing that.
Faith:I’ve been working on the oldBrain AgeandPhoenix Wrightfor the DS still. I think I’m getting smarter. I’ve also jumped back intoLegend of Zelda: Twilight Princessfor the Wii. Finally finished the Water Temple and now I have to find Zelda at the castle.
Chad Concelmo:I am playingFinal Fantasy VI Advancefor, like, the 40th time. And I am still blown away that there is an actual prostitute in that game and that she tells Edgar her boobs are named Humpty and Dumpty. Is that not weird? Seriously, that’s weird, right?
Niero:Nothing can tear me away fromKororinpa: Marble Maniaon the Wii. Nothing. After completing 75%you get this little gymnast in a marble-cage called Charlie, and he screams and complains as you hurl him around and also moves around on his own. My life has changed since we met. I also bought this game for my parents. My stepmom thoughtWii Sportswas kinda retarded but according to my dad this was the first thing she wanted to do when they got up this weekend. Seriously, this is the sleeper game of the year.
Aaron Linde:My copy ofPersona 3should finally be arriving in a few hours, and fromwhat I hearit’s pretty damn good. In the meanwhile I’m digestingMario Strikersand wasting hours onCivilization 4: Beyond the Sword. You know what rocks? ICBMs. If the Carthaginians weren’t already stuck in the stone age, I’d send ’em there myself on a cruise missile, Dr. Strangelove style.
Grim:I purchased a few budget titles because none of the newer games have really interested me andBioShockwill be out soon enough.Jet Set Radio Future,Dino Crisis 3, andBurnout Revengehave eaten up most of my free time this week.
Gameboi:I’ve been sneaking in some quality time with an old favorite of mine (Silent Hill 2) this week, when not busy checking items off my current honey-do list.
That’s the end of the list, and I’m going back to beating up post-apocalyptic, psuedo-Russkie, alterna-reality cyborgs. Let us know what you’ve been playing, and if we choose your reply, you and your family will win a VIP trip along with four of your closest friends toABSOLUTELY NOWHERE!
Good luck, and god speed!
