Destructoid prides itself on being the earthly home to all robots great and small. From the great supercollider robots visiting our planet from Mars to the tiniestWii-controlled Roomba, we provide a safe haven from the slings and arrows of humanity’s great xenophobia.
To that end, we feel it’s our right, nay,our duty, to enlist the aid of celebrities who seem to have forgotten their mechanical roots.Cher,MeatloafandChristopher Reeve(before he was de-activated) all embraced their mechanical backgrounds and became spokespeople for the robotic movement, and, as such, are idolized by millions of automated lamps andtoasters that run linuxall over the planet. James Caan, don’t you think it’s time that you stopped living the lie?
I present to you the following evidence of Mr. Caan’s robosexuality:
Of course, you also have the damning evidence presented in the above picture as well.
Mr. Caan, we do not wish to tarnish your stellar reputation in the notoriously hateful Hollywood cliques, we just wish you would use your considerable strength of character to help out those less fortunate. Every time an automated arc welder breaks down, or a PlayStation 3 is hit by a stray bullet meant for it’s owner, we know you die a little inside. Why can’t you just admit to that?
This message brought to you by the National Council For Creating A Shiny Metal Tomorrow.
On a completely different note, here’s what your favorite metallic editors have been playing this week:
Aaron Linde:IFINALLYbeatFinal Fantasy XIItonight, and I feel as though I’ve just passed an elephant through my hindquarters in doing so. Seriously, that may in fact be my favoriteFinal Fantasytitle ever — the game that finally usurpsFFVI’sthrone.
But now? God, everything seems rather insignificant. I got me someDevil May Cry 3, someGod Hand, andGunstar Super Heroeson the docket — the remainder of the weekend also looks to be chock full ofGuitar Hero, both 1 and 2. There’sFFIIIDS to finish, and even more that I’m sure to have already forgotten — and my last quarter of my undergraduate career begins tomorrow.
Yegods.
Grim:I’m trying to get 100% completion inCastlevania: Portrait of Ruinwhile tinkering with the game’s extra modes at the same time. I messed around withSerious Samfor an hour or so, but I eventually became bored and stopped playing. As always,Gears of Waris still in the rotation, but now I really just want to play against people I know.
Dick McVengeance:So, I thought I was going to beatGod Hand. Boy, was I mistaken. The last level is beyond anything I’ve had to face before, and I’m just not ready for it. So, since I’ve got too much to do before CES, it looks like I’m stuck with the handheld market for now. So, my goal for this upcoming week is to actually progress inTrauma Center.
Orcist:This week, I’ll be pouring as much time intoFFXIIas humanly possible before I get shipped back to college, where I will be PS2-less. Until then, I’ll be loot-hoarding and killing marks to my heart’s content.
Niero:I’ve mostly been burning out on casual games this week on the 360 and PS3. I beat Summa’s score atGeometry WarsandTime Pilotbut can’t catch up to Nick’s, he’s a shmup beast.BlastfactorandCash & Guns Chaoson the PS3 are a lot of fun — one of them is aGeometry Warsquasiclone in a sphere and the other is an updatedSmash TVstyle game with lots of squishy sprites. And clowns. Lots of clowns. Lastly I’m in and out of paintings on my DS,Portrait of Ruinis a must have for any retro gamer. My adventures with Vaan are on hiatus again until I get a PS3 memory adapter cable.Rally Xmakes me feel old, I used to play that game nonstop as a kid. The smoke screen was revolutionary at the time.
Nex:After Aaron’s excellent article about why people should actually own a PSP (and specifically the section on how fucking awesome Capcom is), I went out and picked upMega Man: Powered Up.I had totally forgotten how amazing the originalMega Manwas, and this game not only provides you with the goodness of the original (with improved graphics), it also gives you a remixed version, a thousand (no exaggeration) mini-challenges to complete and a metric cunt-load of unlockable content. If you’ve ever enjoyed a Mega Man game, you should totally pick this one up. It’s the definition of hot.
I’ve also recently started getting back intoDiablo 2. Nagiko convinced me to go pick it up and myself, her, Ishaan, and theoretically Aaron Linde (as soon as we can harass him into picking up theBattlechest) have been molesting the demonic hordes with righteous fury. Blizzard has cemented a place as one of my top 3 developers of all time, andDiablo 2is a huge part of that.
Nick Brutal:Streets of Rage Remake, baby.
Fish Dudeon the Game Boy.Swamp Thingon the NES.
I’m obsessively killing minotaurs inCastlevania: Portrait of Ruinto level up my weapon skills.
I just picked upRainbow Six: Vegas(360) today, because I’m sick of hearing everyone rave about how great it is. I’ll be the judge of that.
I also picked upKaraoke Revolution: American Idoland combined with alcohol, that will equal a party in my house as well as in my pants.
Fronz:Now that I have a DS Lite I’ve been playingHarvest Moon DSandAnimal Crossing: Wild World. I can see myself having a lot of fun withACfor a few weeks and then not touching it again, but keep playingHarvest Moonfor a long while, then finally ditching it for good and going back toAC.
Ishaan:Just started onFinal Fantasy Vfor the GBA, and I’m loving it so far. The job system is really neat. Other than that, I’m still playingRagnarokwith our other readers and editors, and it’s a hell of a lot of fun.
We also started to playDiablo IIagain last night. God, I never tire of that game. It’s like the cheeseburger of RPGs.
Ron “What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Puppet’s Mouth” Workman:Not one game I don’t think again. Just getting CES stuff together all week. Cool news, I’ll be playing the Wii and also “Who can spit in Puppet’s mouth the most” which I have been looking forward to for a long time. STD”S and Tranny’s here I come. Vegas baby… Vegas!!!!
Robert Summa:Resistance: Fall of Man. Single player is hard and addicting and the custom multiplayer maps bring back memories ofHaloand PC online gaming combined. Massive damage ftw!
Nagiko:I’m pickingFinal Fantasy 12back up and once again pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to die in this game.Castlevania: DOSis still spending a ton of time in my DS. On the side, I’ve picked upDiablo 2again (it’s like a smack addiction that never quite goes way) and am running a Necromancer who’s way too much fun. It’s simply a delight to have a little skeleton army. They should make those in real life.
Faith:Still playingFinal Fantasy 12and having my butt handing to me but five little vegetable people. Also playingMario vs Donkey Kong 2still, I’m on level 6 with all silver stars in my levels. I plan to play it through with silver and then go back and try for gold on all the levels.
What about you my little homonids? What have you been playing this week with your fleshy digits?
